Feed on

The journey into IVF is one in which I never thought I would be a part of.  I never imagined that on our journey to becoming parents and extending our family, we would not be one of the statistics you hear about in regards in infertility! But then again I guess no one actually does.

But alas this has become our life so far and I know we will continue to be interwoven into IVF and what it actually means for us to have children.  So far in our blog post you have read about how we became to be on this journey.  This blogging has been one of many debates both internally and externally for us as individuals and as a couple as we make our way though this emotionally and draining IVF journey.  I have been mulling over in my head about firstly writing a blog, and secondly whether to post it.  Posting it would mean putting our journey out for the world to see.  IVF is kept quiet and often not talked about among others…why?

Well for me it felt as if I was failing as a women to not be able to do something so natural and something we as women are designed to do.  For Todd I know he feels a sense of failure at the same time; that he failed to be able to help in the process he is meant to do as a male! So for both of us that sense of failure was on high.  I think next would come judgement from others surrounding this failure and lack of knowledge surrounding infertility.  This to me is why infertility and IVF roads are kept quiet and taboo.  But why should it happen this way? Why should we keep hush hush over something that is as I am finding out more common than people think about? I am finding that the more I communicate about what we are going through, the more support there is out there from other families going through the same thing.

It does get to me sometimes when a) people comment on my lack of children or questions surrounding if I have children or not and the reason why (It’s not as if I am not trying…but then again they don’t know my story and my reasoning why I don’t have children), B) it becomes so easy for people to fall pregnant and then some of these parents end up mistreating these innocent children and C) the process of adoption within New Zealand compared to other parts of the world.

I am so scared that we only have a few chances to fall pregnant through the gift of science and the chances of successful pregnancies drop after the age of 35 due to the quality of female eggs dropping.  If we are given the chance of try, why not try everything we have to get it right first time?

So this blog is about Todd and my journey to becoming parents.  We ask that you respect us and what we write on here, as this is a huge thing we have to go through.  However I want to put our journey out there for a few reasons.  One being it is our way to document what we are going through (highs, lows, positives and negatives that will come our way) and to highlight the journey to others who will be embarking on their own IVF journey’s.  We want to change the way people view IVF and infertility.  Please don’t have pitty on us, please support us on this journey we are embarking on!

For us it is the fight of our lives we are embarking on.  We are not going to give up until we have a baby in our arms!! We are never going to quit!


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