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So Todd has been referred to the fertility clinic and so have I…which is amazing and life changing.  But somehow this very important appointment date has turned into a shit show and has left us feeling confused and frustrated at the lack of people’s knowledge of how to read forms!!

Todd’s done his part for his part in us making a baby; he can relax (even though he feels frustrated and his feelings of being not helpful and a failure are popping up and down at any given moment) I need to take charge of this baby making journey train! I don’t want to and would rather it wasn’t left up to me and my body to decide our fate of if we can have a baby or not!

So anyway I needed to have bloods taken on day three of my period…which being my body didn’t come when scheduled (surprise surprise, I am hoping like hell that aunty rosa is nice to me when we are engaging in our ivf cycle at some stage).  So when it finally did I was like Yay praise be…I am on the track to our appointment! See at this point we were told that we could pay for our first appointment.  But Todd and I talked about it and decided to wait for our free appointment as with the free appointment it takes about 12 weeks to hear from the fertility clinic for a date, and two I was still getting my bmi down to 32 so the extra time would help my bmi level!

Well we waited and waited and nothing back in regards to an appointment time.  We rang the doctor who said that my referral had been denied as Todd needed to have a sperm analysis done! But he had that done when he froze his sperm.  My doctor sent in the form again stating that it had already been done.  Yet again it got sent back with the same thing! Seriously we were getting so annoyed, we were on the phone to the area manager of the fertility clinic who told me what I needed to do.  I did this and still we were getting the same thing back!

We went to my doctor and demanded to know what was happening and why this was going through.  Todd was so angry and I was so frustrated that I pleaded with him to make the appointment regardless of time frame or cost! But deep down I knew we needed to wait for my bmi level to drop!

Finally my doctor managed to get hold of someone who infact read the whole form correctly and I was rung with the confirmation that I had been accepted for an appointment with the fertility clinic for an appointment to get on the wait list!

Holy crap Shit got real in that moment…..I was told to wait a few weeks and I should have my date…but being me I couldn’t wait and decided not to and rung in after a week of waiting! I had a date!! We had a date for our appointment!! This one appointment!! I couldn’t stop crying as shit just got real! I came to the realization that I needed to lose another 8kgs in I think 9 weeks at that point! I thought crap oh nooooooo!!

Holy crap I started to panic! Seriously then ever before there was so much pressure on me to lose weight to get on that list! I went to my personal trainer and cried to him, stating shit got real and that I need to do this. He looked at it from a different angle and said okay lets set this goal but not make it one in which has huge pressure on it.  I had seen an event that I wanted to partake in next year…the tough mudder! Its a military style course that we do as part of teams. It was going to do be smack bang in the middle of when I needed to lose weight for the appointment so why not! Ok I said lets do this! Then a team got together and we started doing boot camps which was a lot of fun and I started making new friends! I wanted to do this even though I had no idea what I was in for!!

I also needed to knuckle down with my eating again, and decided to give Papps another go.  This time I noted that there was changes to the plan than what they gave me last time.  Included in this support from Papps was a body scan which showed you how much body fat you lost, muscle mass you gained, water retention, bmi reading and a few other body things which helped illustrate a healthy body.  They also coach you each week supporting you through the journey that you are going on.

I had my first scan and I lost 2.8 kgs of body fat! So this was a good start!

I am so glad that this appointment has happened and am so focused that when we leave that clinic we will be on the wait list!!

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