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This is a letter which came in the mail the other day.  This is a letter which means so much for the journey so far and for the continuation of the journey that we are on for our dream of becoming parents. This letter has been a long time coming and could change and will change the outcome of our future. As you can see this is a letter in which myself alongside Todd have been waiting for, for a very long time.

You see this letter is to confirm our very first appointment on the 1st December 2017 with Fertility Plus! This letter is one step forward in our journey with infertility and IVF.

This letter also means that this date is the date in which it all rests upon my shoulders (oh and the Dr who is seeing us and who makes the decision) to have made the 32 BMI reading to then be put on the waitlist.  This is the date where all the hard work that I have been putting into my health pays off! This is the date that the Dr will see not just that I have been losing weight for being placed on this list, but also I have been losing weight to get healthy (long before we ever knew we would be using IVF).

The night that Todd and I got the letter we were sitting down on the couch and dreaming about our future together!  Is it wrong of us to do this? Is it wrong of us to assume and want the best for our future?  We were dreaming about the future and putting the dates in our minds of when it could potentially happen for us to be successful at our rounds of IVF and have the family that we have been dreaming about.

We worked out that if we are placed on the list that day, then it would be this time in a year that we would maybe be starting our treatments.  The wait list time for Auckland is about 12 months, however the information that we have gained highlights that people constantly drop out of the list and the wait time gets shorter.  So we are hoping that our wait time on the list will only be about 11 – 12 months and no longer! So like I mentioned before this time next year we could be starting our treatments.  This would also lead us into January or February 2019 we could be pregnant! This is the year in which we have chosen to get married! We have chosen our date for November 2019.  So give or take a few months by the time we have our wedding in November I hopefully would have either given birth or be nearly about to have a baby!  Wow imagine that! That would be some year for us! But somehow I feel that that is the year in which it all is going to happen for us! I don’t know why I am getting this feeling but I can’t stop feeling that this is the year that it will all happen.

Part of me want to start buying little things in preparation for a baby! For example I keep seeing all these cute little outfits that I would like to purchase, or have seen a cute soft toy that I feel needs to come home with me.  But Todd doesn’t want to start buying stuff so soon, just in case things might not work out the way that we both want.

But I am also being realistic about this as well, as I know that IVF cycles don’t always have the greatest success rates first time around. But I want to buy these things and live in hope. For me I feel that if I feel positive then positive things are going to happen.  I want to so buy these things and live in hope, but at the same time I want to have the same understandings around this journey that Todd has.  However I am hoping that all of the work that I am putting my body through, that this hard work will pay off and the prize be a healthy embryo which sticks and grows into a beautiful baby!

So until December 1st rolls around I have to keep sticking to my routine of making healthy choices and exercising as much as I can (despite the arm constantly giving me the most painful pains in the world, but that’s another blog….and another  x ray and ultra sound day) to get to my goal of making the BMI level of 32 for public funding list and join the thousands of other couples from around New Zealand waiting for their turn to try and create a baby through the wonderful world of science!

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